Friday, January 11, 2008

Wanted: Motivation

Humor me.

(To the tune of "O Christmas Tree")

Oh Exercise, Oh Exercise
I hate it with a passion.
Oh Exercise, Oh Exercise
A must for health and fashion.
I've tried to walk
I've tried the gym
I've done Pilates
on a whim.
Oh Exercise, Oh Exercise
I hate it with a passion.

Oh Exercise, Oh Exercise
My body's quickly failing
Oh Exercise, Oh Exercise
I'm at the mirror wailing.
All of a sudden
things have dropped.
When I sit down
My thighs, they flop
Oh Exercise, Oh Exercise
My body's quickly failing.

Oh Exercise, Oh Exercise
I'm not expecting greatness.
Oh Exercise, Oh Exercise
I know I'll never weigh less.
I want to wear
fantastic jeans
Without my fat
squished by the seams
Oh Exercise, Oh Exercise
I'm not expecting greatness.

Oh Exercise, Oh Exercise
I doubt I'll ever love it
Oh Exercise, Oh Exercise
those skinny girls can shove it
I need to find
something that works
Where I won't sweat
or ever hurt
Oh Exercise, Oh Exercise
I doubt I'll ever love it.

(Humming quietly in the background...)

I know I am not ever going to like to exercise, but I'm gonna have to do start doing something. Things are getting rather serious.

I was hoping you all could send me some ideas. I detest the gym. It is too cold to walk. Please...for the love of my thighs...send me some ideas.


momof2 said...

There is a great toning/calorie burning workout available in beginner, intermediate, and advanced difficulty levels tht only takes 20 minutes!!!!! I did the advanced workout 2 to 3 times a week this Summer and I really started seeing results pretty quickly. (I then proceeded to get out of the habit of doing this workout after I put my swimsuit away at the end of the Summer and it didn't take long to see THOSE results either.) Just go to
to find the workouts. Good luck!

Jeni said...

(I'm cringing at the laughs I'm about to get.)

If you're not afraid to feel a little dorky, the Richard Simmons Sweatin' to the Oldies videos are kind fun! They're a pretty good workout, too. Just make sure you close the miniblinds so your neighbors don't point & laugh.

Stephanie said...

Nick and I got a NordicTrack treadmill for Christmas.I am all so doing weight watchers with it . I can not believe how fast i am loosing inches. Walking and running on the treadmill really releases stress.We placed it in the bed room so we can have family time while we take turn exercising. We have really enjoyed it. ( Hope your birthday was great)

Headless Mom said...

I found last year that simple sit ups, push ups, leg lifts, etc while watching tv in the evening can make a huge difference. Slimmed mid section, thighs, etc. Carmen at The ELFF diet also has some great tips-read through her archives under exercise, struggles and work that body.

Good luck!

Karen said...

Wonderful, a new exercise song. At least I'll really mean the words zipping through my head while I sweat.

I have no suggestions. Or at least not good ones. I don't like to exercise and don't like any of the ways necessary to lose weight. But I walk or ride an stationary bike thing. My SIL wants me to take up ballroom dancing but if I did that, I'd have to address my "fear of looking like an idiot" issues.

Angela said...

I have some friends who swear by the Turbo Kick videos. One of which just received her certification to teach it. Anyway I've not ever tried it but you can if you want. Oh and I second Jeni's comment. "If you're not afraid to feel a little dorky then Richard simmons" video's are great. We had to do them in middle school and the great thing is the moves are easy. You know you'll be able to do them right and you really can work up a great sweat. So pick on up and just laugh and get loose.

CoftheU said...

Awesome song. I hate exercising too. I've never had an endorphin release or felt any sense of accomplishment afterward. The thing I'm trying now is Couch to 5k (found at
You work out 3 times a week and each time start off with a 5 minute walk. The first week you run for 60 seconds then walk for 90 and keep doing that for a total of 20 minutes. It increases little by little over 8 weeks. I just started and its not bad once I get going . . . IF I get going.

Lisa @ Take90West said...

Who needs to look good with song writing talents like that?!

Okay, don't laugh, I hate to excercise too, and I'm never one of those people that finishes and FEELS GREAT! Usually I need a nap.
But, what about a dance class? Dare I say Hip Hop? It is great excercise and fun! And it doesn't feel like excercise. And when you're home alone, you can can totally dance around while singing 'Bringing Sexy Back.'

Now stop laughing at me and find a friend to take a dance class with.

The Fritz Facts said...

I love that song!!! So true for me as well.

I do simple things to lose weight. While it is a little at a time, I know that I can not commit major amounts of time right now, so it works for me.
We have a two level townhome, and I do our stairs for 15 minutes every day. It helps! Plus, I can now take the stairs to my 5th floor office without feeling like passing out!

Kelly said...

How cold is "too cold to walk"?

Where is your underarmor?

Rocks In My Dryer said...

As the girl who has drug her sorry self to the gym four of the last five days and HATED EVERY MINUTE OF IT, I totally relate.

Pattik said...

Are you not so talented, my little
songwriter! Way funny!

Have been having these same concerns. Just wait, it only gets
better with age.

Ed said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rebecca said...

O.k., I'm Mrs. Ed, also known as Rebecca. I deleted the comment from "Ed" only because I didn't want it to look like a strange dude was going to a women's gym.

Anyway, I was wondering if you've considered Curves. It's for "real women" and the workout is 30 minutes from the time you walk in the door until you leave. Unless you're like me and get involved in a conversation with someone, but that's another store entirely. :)

Jenni said...

Your song is etched on my soul.

We finally got rid of our treadmill bc I was only using it to hang-dry the laundry.

I'm now preggo with #3, and I watch the "FitMama" dvd faithfully from the couch with my peppermint tea. I would gladly lend you my 2 toddlers to chase, as that is my main form of cardio these days, but I'm not sure what the postage would be from CA. Good luck - I'll be checking back for others' inspirationa suggestions!

Org Junkie said...

Awesome poem! I'm totally with you, exercise sucks. We just bought an eleptical machine and believe it or not I'm not minding it (after the first five minutes that is).


PokeyAnn said...

Winsor Pilates DVD, you get to lay on your back alot, I like that part.

Anonymous said...

I just started a new DVD series by Leslie Sansone. It is called Walk Slim. I think any of her Walk Away the Pounds videos are good. I also have Billy's Bootcamp but it was too hard and Winsor Pilates but I didn't see many results with it. I think this Walk Slim is kind of in the middle. Leslie is very upbeat and encouraging. I hate to exercise too, but now I have to admit I weigh more than I did when I birthed my 10 lb. baby! Lord help me!

Meredith said...

Hi! I just found your blog and had to read a few posts. I love your original songs-too funny! And the roller skating post had me laughing too. It brought back so many memories of time spent at the skating rink growing up.

Thanks for the laughs! I'll be back to read more.