Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Buyers Remorse

It is probably never a good idea to, you know,

purchase a pet
because you like the name of the breed. However, for some reason that no one in the palace seems to recall, we did.

The valiant breed of the Schnoodle.

We ordered Ruby from a website. There are two major problems with that: ordered Ruby and website.

Should a loving family ever be ordering living creatures from the world wide web? Sight unseen? No clue as to how this Schnoodle was raised? Not really sure of what makes up a Schnoodle? You be the judge.

After emailing a lady two times I felt the time was right to commit to the Schnoodle. So, I sent her a ridiculous amount of money via Paypal. I then sent my parents on a four hour drive to, ahem, a Western Sizzlin' parking lot. The Queen Mother was a little disturbed that Ms. Schnoodle Raiser was circling the parking lot really slowly and looking more than a little shady. When they finally approached her, Ms. Schnoodle Raiser chunks the five -week -old -three -pound dog at them, says the papers are in the mail and burns rubber out of the Western Sizzlin'.

We now sense that there are breeds that shouldn't be, well, bred. Take for instance a weenie dog and a dalmatian. It just probably shouldn't happen. Such is the tale of the poodle and the schnauzer. Each taken on their own merit make wonderful pets...surely. However, when combined... it is not pretty.

We are quite sure that most of the responsibility rests with Ms. Schnoodle Raiser (who never sent those papers, by the way). She bears no blame, however, for the black skin with white hair. She cannot be held accountable for this coarse white hair that exists in all places. All places but the mohawk of soft beige curls down her back, that is.

We can hold her responsible for the fleas that came along for the ride. And for the fact that Ruby was apparently never let out of her crate to go to the bathroom. Let your imaginations run with that one.

Ruby is a special dog.

Perhaps God knew that here at the palace, we root for the underdog. We like to meet a challenge head on. For all her faults...and there are many, many faults...we love this Schnoodle.


Queen Mother said...

Poor Ruby! She wants to be a good doggy, and she is "special". Does she know her name yet? Does she even know she has a name? The Princess loves her and that's enough for me.

Jen said...

Awwww. My parents had a schnoodle, which was not very pretty, but was very sweet. Her name was Maggie. I won't scare you by telling you she lived so long, they FORGOT how old she actually was! ;-)

chickadee said...

oh that's funny. we were recently laughing over the word schnoodle because we are looking for a puppy and ran across it. we have a schnauzer.

bohgirl said...

We actually just got ourselves a 1/2 Beagle + 1/2 Bulldog = Beabull. And we drove 6 hours to Ohio to pick her up from a laundromat parking lot. Oh, and it was an Amish laundromat, apparently....with a very lovely Amish boy licking the front window - which is neither here nor there, but adds to how insane it is to order a dog online then drive 6 hours to pick it up.... as we did :)