The Day That Will (and Did) Last Forever

Let me preface by saying that if you are indeed lucky enough to score once-in-a-lifetime tickets to The Hannah Montana Concert Event, and the tickets say “No Cameras Allowed”, they don’t actually mean that cameras are not allowed. And, after you’ve been honest and not tried to sneak your camera into the arena but then you see that every other mother has, in fact, brought her camera and is apparently not suffering any repercussions so you want to go to your car and retrieve your camera…you will not be allowed to re-enter the arena. This means, unfortunately, that you might be forced to use your husband’s Crackberry camera which reeks. So, your only daughter’s once-in-a-lifetime concert event is hopefully engraved in your memory. Because that is all you are truly left with.

There. I feel better.

I’m sorry that this will probably be kind of long. It was a loooonnng day.

A few days before we left, The Princess received an email from Miley Cyrus’ fan club (Which we had to join for $30, might I add, to try and get tickets early. Which we could not do because they were already sold out before any fan club member had a chance.) The email invited all fan club members to arrive at Miley’s bus 2 hours early for a meet and greet type of thing. We arrive 3 ½ hours early. This is the line. Remember, stinky Crackberry photos--you'll have to enlarge and hope for the best.

We were probably 200 people back. We wait for about 1 ½ hours. It is then announced that Miley won’t be coming out, but her grandmother will. Can’t you just imagine Miley’s poor grandma worried about all those girls standing in line waiting all day? Bless her. They gave all 15,000 girls one raffle ticket each for a chance to win a visit with Miley before the concert. The Princess felt that the odds fell greatly in our favor. Can you believe we didn't win? She couldn't.

Jump ahead to the concert. We had seats on the 6th row, but at the end of the row farthest away from the stage. They were terrific seats. (Thanks Queen Mother. For those of you wondering, I do not know and will not ask any details of how the Queen Mother obtained such fine seats. With QM, some things are better left unknown.)

Our first clue that it was going to be loud was that prior to the start of the concert, each time the curtain would jiggle, 15,000 girls would squeeeeaaaalllll at the top of their lungs. The air made them squeal.

Finally it was time for The Jonas Brothers to open the show. Now, I’ve been a fan of TJB. I think they are pretty cute. Well, all except for one. (I’m sorry. I know it is bad to say that. But it is true.) Now, however, I can tell you that I am only thinking one of them is cute. The one I have just rejected is Joe. He really thinks he is all that. Really. He would begin his songs by saying, “This one’s for the ladies.” Um, excuse me, Joe? The “ladies” are, like, 11. At one point, he unbuttoned a button on his shirt. Puh-lease. I was shaking with fits of laughter. Another time, he fell prostrate on the floor much to the delight of the swooning pre-teens. I got a little queasy.

TJB wore those gray jeans like boys did in the 80s that were reallyreallytight and were all scrunchy at the ankles. Not a good look. For them or anyone.

Finally, they left the stage (though they would return…often.)

Hannah performed for about 30 minutes and then Miley performed for another 30. It was really cute. Everything she did was so appropriate for the girls. Nothing trashy. She was not feeling well and I felt really bad for her. My maternal instinct kept kicking in and I wanted to tell her to go to bed. Her eyes were kind of glassy. I was impressed that she stuck it out.

The Princess shoved her way to the front. Occasionally, I would see her arm (I could spot her watch) pounding the air. I really had no idea that she was a rock star groupie. Well, I kind of did.

Last night, she told me that she just “dug through” all those people to get where she needed to be. That determination should take her far. Or get her beat up a lot.

I am sorry to say that I was a total mom. I wanted to be cool, but when I saw scores of other moms trying to be cool, I came to my senses. The concert was not for me. It was for The Princess. I sat about 87% of the time. The mom next to me ate a funnel cake. I really wanted a bite and almost asked if we could share.

I will also say that a person needs a small bank loan to attend this event. The t-shirt that The Princess bought was $55. The program was $25. Miley the Millionaire has taken in quite a few bucks from The Palace this year.

I am going to quickly share the attire of the moms and their daughters. Oh my. I have never seen so much bling in one place. I literally saw a 10 year old girl in jeans and HIGH HEELS. She was dragging her poor little feet, bless her heart. Many moms were dolled up. Wow. I think Big Mama needs to do a Fashion Friday about the type of jeans that need to be tucked into a specific type of boot. Apparently there is some confusion. There is also a guitar purse that must be all the rage. I thought maybe it was a Hannah Montana thing, but I saw way too many grown women carrying them to be sure.

Finally, I must give a shout out to The King. He was one of a few males in attendance. He only complained about being at the concert on the last weekend of hunting season 8 times. I thought that was admirable. I think he was with us for one purpose and that purpose he accomplished. He got us out of the traffic of the thousands of distracted women drivers after the concert. I have to say, as a woman, I was embarrassed at the poor driving skills of these ladies. Only once did The King honk and scream, “Idiot driver!” I quickly told The Princess that her daddy meant “idiot” in its most positive application.

We then spent the night at The Peabody Hotel because second to seeing Miley, The Princess really wanted to see the ducks. This is a great example of the 2 worlds she is torn between.

It was certainly a special weekend for The Princess. That makes it totally worth it for me.

Seriously, if you are able to stand the Crackberry photo, enlarge this and look at those jeans.