We've Failed a Generation

I had really not spent much time pondering the condtitions. And I feel some shame. How could I have let my daughter...no, her entire peer group, down? Why didn't I pass the torch?

I don't think I even lit the torch.

The torch of Roller Skating.

Our family attended a birthday party for our sweet 6-year-old cousin this weekend. It was a skating party. At a Roller Rink. Wheels -N- Motion, to be exact.

Pause. I must make a few observations about the Wheels -N- Motion before I can continue.

I feel pretty confident in saying that the Wheels -N- Motion has not had any improvements since its opening in 1978. It was as if my 6th grade year was frozen in time. I think that is a little weird.

And it is not because they were spending all their money on heat. If you are planning a party at the Wheels -N- Motion in the winter, my suggestion would be that you not schedule the first party of the day. As the heat is turned off at night. And it was 17 degrees outside. So it was a little chilly upon arrival.

Also, if you are, like, a teenager wanting a job where you sit and pretty much do nothing...you might want to try the Wheels -N- Motion.

But bring your coat.

Ok. Back to the collapse of my legacy.

Kids today are evidentally uneducated in the skills of roller skating. I know we've got Roller Blades and Healeys and such, but those are just a poor substitute for the real thing.

I had not strapped on a pair in 20 years, but my mad skills came right back. Well, maybe not right back. (There may be a few people reading this that were there so I feel I must back off my big talk.) But I did have mad skills. It took a few times around before I was confident that I could lean back on my back wheels without falling on my rump. And I didn't do my super duper spin move until I was presented with the choice of tripping over a small child or rock my move. But...kids today?

Not so good.

There were a few kids that brought their own roller blades, but all in all? Not a generation of skaters. In fact, the sweet birthday girl made a total of 3 laps.

They aired up the jumpy for a while and that briefly kept the kids' attention. The jumpy was in the middle of the rink. And was later deflated by the above mentioned teenager and left in the middle of the rink. Not a course hazard at all, dude.

The real fun came when the dude brought out the plasma cars for the kids. All of the kids ditched the skates and grabbed a car. So it was really easy to dodge 15 out of control kids and dodge the deflated bouncer and still have mad moves.

The King could barely walk this morning because his legs hurt.

I'm not sure if that makes me proud or if it embarrasses me.

But then I think of my mom dropping me and my friends off at the roller rink when I was in the 6th grade. We would be left for hours unattended. Now that I think about it? I'm not sure that good things were going on at the rink.

I think I just had a flashback.

Anyway. I cannot foresee me dropping The Princess and her posse at the Wheels -N- Motion for an evening, but I do think we will be having a few exercises in the discipline of mad skills.

That girl's got some big skates to fill.

It will only hurt for a minute

Yesterday was delightful.

My daughter, heretofore known as The Princess (you know, the Queen theme...), had a regularly scheduled teeth cleaning. No big deal. Never had a cavity (not to boast, but don't you think that speaks to excellent mom skills?) Gets a kick out of TVs in the ceiling. She approached the appointment with one teeny worry. Teeth pulling.

Let me pause for a brief history of The Princess's mouth trauma:

2 yrs. old--Falls into front steps mouth first knocking 2 teeth into her gums. Like, all the way into. Like, couldn't see the teeth. No front teeth until permanents come in at age 6.

9 yrs. old--Gets nailed in the mouth with a baseball bat when walking behind the batters box thing. Cracks the permanent front tooth. Loses all sensation of heat. Requires monthly check ups to gauge its status for, apparently, the rest of forever.

Back to yesterday.

For some reason (and I'm certain a fault of her father's--heretofore known as The King--he'll love that) 2 of her permanents have been growing in above the babies. The babies have no idea that they need to come out. A boy in her class called her "Shark Teeth". She has had 2 layers of teeth.

Ok. In the above paragraph, I already broke 2 of my rules. I shamed The King and embarrassed The Princess.

So, going into the appointment, she asks if they will pull the Shark Teeth.

"Of course, not. Dentists never schedule extra time for things. If they feel that they need to be pulled we will have to schedule it for far, far away."

After the 10 minute teeth cleaning (not kidding), the dentist says, "Would you like me to get those 2 teeth out?"

"Sure!" I reply without hesitation. The tears start flowing.

We go into the Extraction Room where a Cute Hygienist asks if we want laughing gas. Well, yes. The dentist comes in to "squirt" some "juice" into her mouth with a needle. (Got it?) She cries a little at first. Then she wails. At one point, she actually screamed. Horror.

The hyperventilation that accompanied the wailing apparently aided in the ingestion of the laughing gas. The Princess begins to giggle uncontrollably. For a while. Cute Hygienist says, "Wow. Normally people don't really laugh".

Dentist comes in. Out pop the Shark Teeth. The Princess gets to choose a pack of Floam to take home (another post for another time).

All is well.

Except for he said we need to schedule an appointment for orthodontia.