Tuesday, January 1, 2008

I'd Like to Introduce You to My New Friend

Her name is Under Armour.

I admit it. I was so wrong. After sitting in the tundra of the Cotton Bowl for 4 hours, the Under Armor and I have become one flesh. I didn't even take it off for the 5 hour drive home. I may not take it off at all. I may wear it for the rest of my life. Which is good since it has embedded in every crevice of my being.

That was too much, wasn't it?

You want to know what is really too much?

Obviously, my brain has suffered traumatic damage from the hypothermia. I just felt that you needed to experience the amount of ugliness that occurs when your jeans stretch and drop after wearing them for 367 hours in the cold and your Under Armour does not move.

Wow. That was too much.

I am so disappointed that we sat in the tundra for such a long time waiting for our team to arrive. Apparently, somebody forgot to tell them we were having a little game today. They just didn't show. In their place, they sent some silly boys in red uniforms that must have been unsure of the rules and logic of the game. Seriously? It was bad. Real bad.

We had to suffer the humiliation of defeat the entire drive home. We were surrounded by Missouri fans. And they all have tails.

I quit counting tiger tails at, like 813.

And to Jeni...I am so sorry for the smack talk. You were right. I was wrong. I will keep dreaming. Friends?

My muscles are weak and tired from the pain of chronic shivering. I have a fever blister forming and am suffering from chafing of my cheeks. Though the sun came out to warm most fans, our seats were on the lower level under the upper level. (That made sense, right?) We were in a shaded wind tunnel. I need to forget about it so I am not going to mention the cold again.

The only way we managed to make it home despite our frozen limbs and humiliation was...

...to have a little snack. But, The King decides that today, right about the time I opened the box, he is going on a diet. He doesn't really want a doughnut. Nah, he has all the willpower in the world. And The Princess? She just needs one. She is full. WHATEVER. I took down 4.

Perhaps the most distressing part of the downer day is that when I got home, I discovered there was a MONK MARATHON today. The kind where you go online and vote on your favorites. I could have been home in my jammies by the fire watching Monk all day. I almost cried, but then The Princess said, "Mommy, the new season starts the day after your birthday." Yea!!!

There is some good news for the day: I haven't found any destruction by Oliver. I know it is only because of the prayers. Thank you.

Now, off to peel my BFF from my weary body and carry this fan to bed.

The fan who said, "Mom, this game is so boring."

I said, "But honey, Daddy went to American Girl all day for you."

She replied, "Yes, but that was fun."


Amy said...

Hope the UA was removed easily (or somewhat easily!) Glad you are home safe...if Husband could have prescribed something for the team today, I really think it would have helped!

Jeni said...

OK, OK, since you've admitted your folly, we can be friends. :-)

We lived in Missouri not far from the university for 6 years, and I don't think the team amounted to squat during that time. Now we leave, move to Tennesee, and they become something worth watching. Go Tigers!

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Oh. My.

That looks like a wet suit -- which I've never been able to get off without lots of soap and the dance of the Tug and Grunt. Good luck with that!

(But I'm so glad you enjoyed your trip -- you did enjoy it, didn't you? -- and that Oliver didn't trash your home while you were gone. Watch out for booby traps, though.)

amanda said...

Ever been snowmobiling in Michigan in February? That's what happens. Welcome to my life (but I no longer post pictures of my wet saggy butt)

Queen Mother said...

WHAT WERE WE THINKING? SITTING OUT IN FREEZING WEATHER? I still had fun with you guys and especially the AG part with the Princess. Glad Oliver didn't destroy but watch out....retaliation for leaving him is still possible..

Lisa@Take90West said...

Oh dear, if it weren't for the trip to AG it sounds like the trip would've been a bust!
My Illini got killed, it wasn't any fun either even though we were watching from home.

I actually am a fan of UA, clingy as it is, and I'm glad to see I'm not the only one with stretch jean issues. Although, I won't be posting a picture of my butt any time soon!

Happy New Year!

Rocks In My Dryer said...

Aww, poor folks. We watched the game (from our toasty living room) and thought of you. Go Hogs, or whatever.

Anonymous said...

Based on this picture...... I don't see why you are singing the song you made up for your last post!