Friday, November 23, 2007

The Red Loveseat Had a Great Fall

I've been waiting for the happy ending.

The Palace has been in need...ok, in want of a new couch and loveseat. Ours is 8 years old and has endured a growing child and cats. The occassional puking cats. Sorry. You just need to have all the particulars.

The King has finally given the decree that I can purchase the furniture. The only stipulation is that I need to sell both gently used pieces to compensate for one of the new pieces.

The new couch is chosen. Two chairs are selected to replace the loveseat. Deposit is paid. Furniture is ordered. Four to six weeks of patience begins. Oh, and I need to sell that stuff.

I find a buyer. She wants both items. I have followed The King's orders. Good for me.

So, The King offers...ok, I make The King deliver the pieces less than a mile to the buyer. He is provided with two strapping young high school football players. (They even say, "No, Sir" and things like that.) They hoist the couch into the back of The King's truck. Then, in an act of complete lunacy, The King begins to lift the loveseat into the truck to place on top of the couch.

What? Has he lost his royal mind? Even the strapping young men politely question his methods. He, of course, has a gadget that he says will hold it all together. He places the loveseat upside down and on top of the couch. Then he uses these man-gadget-strap-things to cinch it down.

I asked him not to act so quickly. I did. I asked. I begged he reconsider this maddening technique. I did. I begged.

To no avail. They loaded and off they went. Less than one mile away.

The King returns home without the strapping young men. He hands me a check for...what? Half my proceeds? What?

I ask The King where the remaining portion of my earnings might be.

He dumped the loveseat in the middle of the road. Yep. Turned a corner and off it went. Flew out of the truck. In. The. Road.

I'm not certain, but I am pretty sure that the strapping young men were devastated.

I quickly point out that I cannot be held responsible for remuneration. I don't have a job. I have already ordered the new stuff. I asked him to not strap. I begged, if you recall.

To his credit, The King said it was ok. (Well, yeah. He dumped it.)

I have inappropriately brought the episode to his attention, oh, 67 times give or take. Today, however, I am ready to leave the past where it belongs...

The new furniture has arrived!!

The King will be going, um, to pick it up later today...


Queen Mother said...

At the risk of sounding like an interferring mother, exactly WHY is he going unaccompanied to get said couch? It has been my experience that most "Kings" think they can rig something with a little "thingy" "strap" or ...duct tape!! Maybe you should go to "observe" or hold it in the truck yourself!!! Can't wait to hear about the delivery/arrival!!!

momof2 said...

I'm still laughing.....Hope the King uses a different kind of strap thingy for the arrival of the new furniture!

Bethany said...

I sure hope that your new furniture makes it home in one piece ;)

Jenny said...

I have to admit... the funniest part of the post was the mention of the "man-gadget-strap-things"...LOL!