Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The Land of Man Camp

The King and the male offspring of his family have a ritual on the first weekend of the hunting season. Let me correct myself...the male offspring plus Grandma.

They participate in Man Camp. They, of course, refer to it as Deer Camp. (I can truthfully call it Man Camp because Grandma goes home at night to sleep in her own bed. Smart lady.)

Man Camp appears to be a lot of eating, card-playing and story-telling. Without bathing. When The King returned home Monday night, he put one pair of pants, one pair of underroos, one pair of socks and one shirt in the laundry. He'd been gone since Friday morning. My mind can only stray so far. I tell myself he went to a laundromat while the others were gambling.

To quantify the amount of food consumed by these hunters, I can only give you this example. The King was responsible for breakfast foods. For 3 mornings. He spent $180 AT ALDI. (For those of you unfamiliar with Aldi, it would be comparable to spending $427 at the supermarket.)

Isn't there something slightly ironic about hunters taking out a mortgage for groceries?

I inquired as to how many deer were executed. None. Not one. Nada. No deer. On the one hand, I am thankful. I pray the deer run. On the other hand, WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

I know for a fact that The King held a gun. The silly thing recoiled and put a gash right between his eyes. Or maybe he ran into a door in the middle of the night when he was going to the bathroom and the gun story is a little more macho. Let's go with the gun.

It has been brought to my attention that Man Camp has added satellite tv this year. I would hate for the hunters to go without watching SportsCenter for a few nights. Also, they've added a DISHWASHER and WIRELESS INTERNET. I thought installing the central heat and air last year was nice. For men, these are the most luxurious accomodations in a 4 state radius.

Let's get back to Grandma. A few years ago Grandma motored around on a really nice four-wheeler. Two years ago she upgraded to a Rhino. This year...a pimped out Geo Tracker is her ride of choice.

The lady knows how to hunt.

I started thinking what might Girl Camp look like...let's dream for a moment, shall we? We might even convince Grandma to join us!!


momof2 said...

Hilarious! I'm all for a Women's camp and it might even have some resemblence to Man Camp in that it would have satellite tv, a dishwasher, and wireless internet. But I can GUARANTEE that it would involve a suitcase FULL of clothes (even if it was JUST for a weekend!)

Amy said...

I agree w/ momof2, we would definetly have a suitcase full of clothes at Women's Camp (and they would all be dirty b/c we would have changed several times a day!)

Anonymous said...

I think I will have a sign made for MAN CAMP. What a great name. I do know that some of the guys took showers because I got to do all the laundry!!!!! Next to be added is a washer and dryer.

Queen Mother said...

Hey, I'm all for Women's Camp. It involves all the above plus spa appointments. I think we should set a date!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, your new blog page is
some kinda great!!! soooo cute!!

Man camp was way to funny, you
just kill me!!

patti k

Rocks In My Dryer said...

I don't care what goes on, as long as I don't have to fix anyone a peanut butter sandwich or wipe anyone's bottom.

I dream big.

Jen said...

I'm in! :-) My husband would THRIVE at man camp... I can just picture it. He has hunted for about 5 years now, and still NO DEER. I'm beginning to wonder if he's found his own MAN CAMP!

Jeni Allen said...

Hey, I don't even know you, and I'd go to Girl Camp with you if it was on Maui!

Joanne (The Simple Wife) said...

Count me in for girl camp!